I kind of wish I had my own band and/or clothing company or something like that. I've always wanted an excuse to have my own website or whatever. I think I'm going to look into somehow doing that or coming up with some crazy idea where I can have my own site, t-shirts, or at least MySpace page - ha! That'll be a summer goal, which I'll get to in a minute. But I think the name of whatever should totally be 10,000 Spoons or Dirty Laundry or whatever (though I just realized that DL is the name of a song AND a 2007 movie. Damn!). Oh well. I'll figure something out.
So what's new with me?
First, I finally got a job at Starbucks which I am so excited about. I've wanted to work there for as long as I can remember, probably because I was/am such a coffee fiend. I can honestly say that I love my job; it's so much better than retail, and I think it's kind of fun making people's drinks and whatnot. I also really like the people that I work with, which is not something I've ever experienced before. Heh. I'm actually hoping that they'll give me more hours in the summer so I can make some cash money.
I definitely have to start being more careful with spending money NOW THAT I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT. I'm moving in on June 1st, so this Sunday - 4 days! Ahh! I am nowhere near ready and I am so nervous on many levels. For one thing I'm really apprehensive about moving in with Jasmine. I definitely don't think it's for the best, but at this point I feel kind of... stuck. I mean I'm hoping that it all works out, but she can be kind of a loose cannon to say the least, and I'm really not sure I want to put myself in a situation that can potentially... whatever. All I know is that this is kind of a risk/chance, and hopefully it'll be just fine. If not, that'll be the end of it once and for all, right?
On another note, things with my family are... okay. My Dad is getting more and more depressed every day, but I really don't think there's anything I can do about it. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what's best for everybody, and I still can't figure it out. I'm getting really annoyed at everybody's "two cents" but I don't blame them for being concerned I s'pose. I just wish I knew what the right thing was. I'm working now so I've been pretty busy - not to mention broke - I haven't gotten paid yet - so I haven't gotten a chance to visit my Dad in quite some time. I'll have to get on that ASAP.
In the meantime, I'm worried about my gma who's constantly with my great gma, who is also in the hospital. I really hope everything works out okay. I'm scared - I don't want my great gma to die. I know that's very morbid of me to say, but I can't help it. I've been thinking a lot about death lately. I think ever since my Dad's accident, I've realized how quickly something or someone can just be taken away from you. Now I'm always living in fear that someone I love is going to just not be there one day. It's really sad, but I guess it helps me to appreciate what and who I have. I just hate living my life this way, ya know?
I guess my Aunt Sally who died in May of last year has been on my mind a lot recently. I really miss her. She is the first person I really cared about that passed away, and this whole missing someone who died thing is a really strange feeling. I feel kind of... empty. How cliche, I know. I just wish she was still here, and wonder where she is now if anywhere. It's times like these when I wish {magic} mushrooms were really magic; I want to eat some and somehow 'trip' happy thoughts about death and the after life and feel euphoric and heavenly and know that my aunt is okay. Unfortunately, with my luck (10,000 spoons... when all I need is a knife!), I'll probably have this God-awful, crazy, gut wrenching, scary trip where I see like ghosts and ghouls and grim reapers lol. Whatevz.
So okay, as far as summer goals, I don't really know what I wanna do yet other than getting things cleared up with school. So0o here are just a few things that money-wise I want to save up and buy (not including furniture or things for the apartment):
- Playstation 3
- Rock Band; Guitar Hero III
- GTA4 and other video games
- A Wii for Jazzy (maybe)
- A video camera!
And... I think that's pretty much it for now! I'm only saying that because I'm late for work and drawing a blank (well, not late - just not as early as I wish I were, haha). Alright so I guess that concludes my first blog entry in this thing.
Cheers!
